Dove Saying

So, as much as I thought I lost my cynicism, it was apparently just waiting in the wings, ready to pounce as soon as the holidays hit.

One of the things I picked up for the holidays was those Dove chocolates.  The ones with the uplifting saying on the inside of the wrapper?  Not for those, but because they were in my budget and decent chocolate.

Now every time I eat one, I can't help my cynicism coming to the front when I read the saying.  Which makes me wonder, is there a chocolate out there that has demotivational sayings?  And if so, can I buy them immediately?

Seriously.  Chocolate #1 says, "What if the 'season to be jolly' lasted all year long?" and my immediate thought was "I would wind up screaming at my computer every day."  #2: "Joy to...you."  Me: "Well, joy to you too, you weirdo!"  #3: "Feel the promise of a warm day."  Me: Do they realize it's winter time?  And most places (on the northern hemisphere), it's not that warm?  #4: "Always give from the heart."  Me: Man, and I was planning on giving from the...armpit this year."

Not to mention I think they have a grand total of 5 sayings.  That just seems lazy.  They can't come up with 30 mini motivational moments so that a bag doesn't have repeats?  Not that hard, guys.  Go visit the internet.  Heck, I could come up with some of these.

"Friends are the family you choose."
"Airports are full of love, once you get over the grumpiness."
"Make every moment magical."

Okay, maybe not that second one, but you get my drift.